"The real winners in life are people who look at every situation with an expectation that they can make it work or make it better." - Barbara Pletcher

Monday, May 24, 2010

Free Freakin' Cuss Day

I should start by offering this disclaimer: we never cuss in front of our kids (or anyone else's kids!). Ever.  Even jokingly.

Free Cuss Day is a day when you are allowed to cuss, with a few rules.  #1-you are not allowed to use the Lord's name in vain. No exceptions. #2-you aren't allowed to drop the F-bomb. Although if you're totally, 100% kidding, you might be allowed to say "Eff", which refers to the F-bomb, and only because everyone knows it's a joke it's OK.  #3-you can't call anyone cuss-names, because that's just mean, even as a joke.  The origin of Free Cuss Day is questionable, and I'm unsure how widely it is practiced...

Top Ten Reasons I might declare such a day:

10.  A flat tire (or any similar car problem) with a van full of kids and groceries, in the Wal-Mart  parking lot.

9.    Having to wear my husband's belt because mine is too small.

8.    Realizing that I forgot to put on makeup, after I've spent an hour in public (or at work). 

7.    Setting meat out to thaw, putting it in the microwave to keep the cat from getting it, and forgetting about it until the next morning.

6.    The nurse at my child's school calling me, for the fifth time in one day.

5.    Getting puked on.

4.    Spending more than 10 minutes on the phone with any company, for any reason.

3.    Turning on the air conditioner for the first time of the season, and discovering it doesn't work.

2.    Discovering I'm out of Diet Mountain Dew.

...and, the NUMBER ONE reason I might declare a FREE CUSS DAY...

1.    The police getting called to my house for any reason (even if they start and end the conversation with "I know this is ridiculous, and I'm sorry").

And, I might blog about my NUMBER ONE reason, a different day, when it strikes me as funnier than it does right now!

What's on your top ten? 

Choosing to love,


Jenny said... Best Blogger Tips

Well, since it's free cuss day...I'm laughing my ass off over here!!! Having to wear my husband's belt because mine is too small!!! Oh, Lord have MERCY! You are cracking me up! Hope your day gets better. :)

Becky said... Best Blogger Tips

I could add: two kids with double ear infections, which (long story short) has resulted in no nap for one 2yr old, and a very short nap for the other 2yr old. But, I don't really feel like those are reasons to cuss, THOSE are reasons for a SONIC RUN. Praise the Lord for Happy Hour.

Stefanie said... Best Blogger Tips

Praising the Lord for happy hour over here too, after our nap was cut short to 90 minutes. If I declared a cuss day for that it would be at least two times a week and that's just living in sin. Hahaha.
More reasons to declare a free cuss day:
* It's so freakin hot out you don't know what to do with your jet black hair so you hold it up in a fake ponytail showing off your armpit stains but not caring.
* Forgetting to shave your legs and not realizing it until you go get a pedicure.
* Getting out last years jeans and they are a little too tight. Wearing them anyway and feeling sick by the end of the day because they have squeezed the living life out of you.
* Not having any stamps the ONE time you actually want to mail something.
* Friday night TV. It's awful.
* Having allergies so bad that you swallow your own snot until your stomach hurts. So gross.
I'm sure I have more. I better to account for all my cussing...
Much love,

The Hjermstads said... Best Blogger Tips

Waiting to hear the rest of the police story..... and love the other reasons.