There is something wrong with me. "I'm stunted", is how I delicately put it in my text reply.
Lucky for you, I did find the best recipe for homemade silly putty. And, I'm posting it here, which will take a good 20 minutes. (20 minutes that I could be using to enhance my thrifty and nutritious meal-making abilities.)
Mix 1/4 cup Elmer's All Purpose Glue (not school glue!) with 1/4 cup water. Add food coloring, if you want.
In a separate bowl mix 1/4 cup borax with 1 cup water.
Now, slowly add the borax/water to the glue/water while stirring very quickly (stir so fast that you think your arm is going to fall off).
VIOLA! So funnnnn!!!!! It actually took us a few tries to get the consistency right. If you let it sit long enough, even the chunkiest stuff will eventually smooth out. The trick is to not let any clumps of borax hit the glue. Major lump issues!! It's the weirdest, strangest thing. It obviously doesn't take much to get me all worked up :) I sort-of poured ours into a Ziploc to keep it. I think if you use less water it would actually turn into more of a putty than a Gak. If anyone tries that let me know!
So, that didn't actually take 20 minutes, and I'm going to go Google bean recipes now :)